The Kappa
by NoodleRamen
Summary: On the plus side Sasuke was right about there being a mythical creature living in their pond. The bad news was that it wanted to eat him. Eventual SuiSasu with SasuNaru at the start.
1. Chapter 1

**The Kappa**

_**Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine.**_

"Have fun but remember to stay away from the pond."

"What'll happen if I go near the pond?"

"The kappa will eat you!" Sasuke shrieked and dodged as Itachi started trying to eat his arm.

"There's no such thing as a kappa!" His brother may have been older but there was no way he was getting anything over on him that easily.

"How do you know?"

"I'm nine! I'm not a baby!"

"Ok so there's no kappa... but it's still dangerous for you to be near the pond so stay away ok?"

"Yeah, yeah." When his brother finally left to get on with whatever it was that useless older brothers like him did, Sasuke was finally free to run rampant in the garden.

Their parents Mikoto and Fugaku had gone out for a few hours sadly leaving his older brother in charge. Although the house itself wasn't large, they lived in a fairly rural part of their town so the garden was pretty huge. It had a few trees, a massive lawn and a large duck pond filled with his fathers' koi. In short it was perfect for a bored overly imaginative young boy. With a grin Sasuke jumped onto the home made swing up the rope into the tree. From there he had a good view of his brothers room and he could see Itachi sitting at his desk, head buried in a book.

Sasuke scowled at the back of his head, still annoyed about the kappa story. Who did Itachi think he was? It wasn't as if he was stupid! He knew it was dangerous to swim in the pond!

Looking up at the aforementioned pond he could see flashes of white and gold as the fish swam lazily round. The water was mostly still, and though dark was clearly not that deep.

Just as he was about to jump down he saw something. A flash of white out the corner of his eyes. It could've been just a fish but looking again Sasuke could clearly see a large white blob bigger than any of his parent's fish. Whatever it was it broke the surface slightly leaving ripples before disappearing by the reed beds.

_...What was that? _His heart pounded and his mind began to fill with crazy ideas such as mutated fish or the Loch Ness monster. Feeling more exhilarated, he hopped out of the tree and dashed towards the pond, not wanting to miss whatever it was.

When he got to within a metre of the pond he stopped and leant forward peering into the murky water. The water was so dark all he could see was his own puzzled face staring back at him. He squinted trying to see past that into the water.

_There it is!_ The white mass moved slowly through the water, moving gradually towards the surface, a hand reached out towards him. _Wait. A hand?!_

Sasuke jumped back in horror and somehow managed to slip on a patch of mud, causing him to go face first into the water and straight towards the thing. Sadly swimming had never been his strong point and even in a small pool like this he would probably be screwed. His body began to grow cold and his vision blurred. The last thing he remembered seeing was a pair of large purple eyes staring directly into his before everything went black.

-Page Break-

"Sasuke! Sasuke!" It was his brother's face that he saw when he woke up laying on the grass next to the pool and soaked to the bone.

"'Tachi?"

"Oh thank god!" Itachi pulled him close and hugged him for a minute before giving him a well deserved slap on the head. "You stupid boy, why were you playing so near the pond? I told you not to! Mum and dad are not going to be pleased."

"But I saw something!"

"You should've just come and told me rather than going over by yourself."

"I think it was a kappa!"

"You do realise that was just a story right?"

"But I really did see something! It was white with purple eyes!"

"Of course you did."

"Don't patronise me!"

"I think we need to get you checked. I'm just glad you managed to pull yourself out before you drowned."

"Huh?" But the boy could not remember pulling himself out. All he remembered was black. "I pulled myself out?"

"You must've done. I found you on the side of the pool by the time I ran down."

"..." If Itachi hadn't saved him then there was only one logical explanation. "The kappa did it."

"That's nice Sasuke, now come on. I think mum and dad are home."

As his brother pulled him back into the house he kept staring behind him at that deep dark pool and watching for the large white blob and the staring purple eyes.

-7 Years later-

"What are you doing with my bag idiot?"

"Nothing asshole!" Sasuke raised his eyebrow at the foolish blonde creature currently digging around in his things and trying to look innocent.

"Drop it before I drop you."

"Try it." The words were scarcely out of his mouth when Naruto felt himself being lifted up and dropped onto his ass. "Hey! That hurt Sas-Gay!"

"You get what you deserve for touching my stuff. What is your problem anyway?"

"I just wanted to borrow some money!"

"...You could've just asked."

"Oh... I never thought of that..."

"Idiot."

"Stop calling me that! God, you're so up yourself."

"You say that and yet you're the one dating me."

"...Damn. But you're dating me when you think I'm an idiot!"

"You're more like a pet than a boyfriend."

"I'm not your pet!"

"Whatever. Shift your ass, you know how Itachi gets when we keep him waiting." Both boys shuddered at the evil of Itachi Uchiha.

"So... are we sharing your bed Sasuke?"

"You snore and kick, you're sleeping on the floor."

"Hey! I don't snore!"

"Yes you do, and you drool."

"...Fine, I'll sleep on the floor. But we better eat as much ramen as is humanly possible."

"...I can feel the sickness seeping in already."

"Suck it!"

-Page Break-

As always when going past the kitchen window, Sasuke stopped to stare out at the garden. More specifically, towards that duck pond. He'd never seen the weird blob creature again and as he'd gotten older he'd accepted it was probably some kind of panicky hallucination.

He still couldn't stop looking though. No matter what anyone else said, there was no way he'd managed to pull himself out of the water that day.

"Whatcha doing Sas-Gay?" _Stupid Naruto and his ninja like skills. _

"Trying to pick a good spot to bury you in, should you ever piss me off."

"I am definitely telling your mum you said that."

"..." Trust Naruto to bring up his only weakness. The collective weakness of every Uchiha male in fact. No one ever fucked with Mikoto Uchiha.

"So what are we doing tonight? Is it movie night again?"

"Well that's what we do every Friday night."

"We better not watch any of that horror crap. You know I can't handle any of that stuff."

"Well you'll love this film." He threw the DVD box over to Naruto who groaned when he saw the title.

"28 days later? You know I hate zombies!"

"It's that or attack the block."

"They both suck!"

"Choose or I'll get the birds film again." Both of them knew the only reason he picked horror films was because Naruto would cling to him in terror every time they watched one, giving extra groping opportunities.

"Ok! Attack the block then." If it had comedy as part of its description it couldn't be that bad, right?

-Page Break-

"GAH!"Naruto dived over the bed and onto the inflatable mattress that Sasuke was in the middle of blowing up.

"What the hell are you doing? You can put this thing up yourself if you wanna do that."

"The eyes!"

"What?"

"I saw the glowing alien eyes in the window!"Sasuke looked over and wasn't impressed with what he saw.

"Those are solar lights."

"What?"

"Solar powered lights. Mum's obsessed with the damn things. They've been there for years idiot, you should know from the way our garden is practically floodlit at night."

"Oh... Yeah looking at them, they do look butterfly shaped."

"Only you could be that stupid."

"Hey! You can be such a dick sometimes."

"Hn."

"Don't use that crap with me!"

"Hn." It was hard not to laugh when Naruto threw a pillow at the back of his head, but he kept on pretending to ignore the boy and went to stare out the garden window. The sea of lights meant the garden was dimly lit and the full moon gave it a silvery sheen. Just as he went to help Naruto with the mattress, something caught his eye.

Movement. In the pond. It wasn't very clear but he watched entranced as a strange figure rose from the water. It seemed almost human and looked like it was forming from the water itself. The figure got more defined the further it went out of the pond and it seemed as if there was a person standing in the shallow pool. It was hard to tell if the thing was male or female and just as it went to turn around-.

"Sasuke?" Naruto had come up behind him quite fast and he spun around. "What are you looking at?"

"Err..." He looked again but the figure had gone, leaving not even a ripple on the water's surface. "Nothing."

"Ok... Anyway, let's share the bed. I don't want to sleep alone tonight."

"You're useless."

"Come on Sasuke! I'll do anything!"

"I'll hold you to that later." _It was probably nothing. Just my mind playing tricks on me. _

_**This is just a random fanfic idea I thought I'd try out so any feedback would be much appreciated :3 Thank you for reading. **_


	2. Chapter 2

**The Kappa**

_**Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine.**_

Sasuke had not had a good sleep that night. While the useless blonde had been snoring and gripping his side, he had been kept awake by all the nightmares. Every time he had drifted off he'd seen white blobs turning into people with purple eyes who kept trying to drag him underwater. The thought of drowning along with that stare he still vaguely remembered kept waking him up. When Naruto finally woke up feeling refreshed, he was exhausted and in a foul mood.

"I thought you said you weren't scared of those kinds of films Sas-Gay?" He scowled at the smirking boyfriend at the other side of the breakfast table.

"That had nothing to do with it idiot."

"Then what was the problem? God, you're strange."

"You're the weird one."

"So what was it?"

"It sounds crazy but I think I saw something outside."

"What?! Was it an alien? Or a ghost?"

"No. Anyway, do you remember how I nearly drowned when I was a kid?"

"In the pond you mean? Yeah I remember that! I remember your parents were so pissed at Itachi for letting you play in the garden by yourself." Both paused for a minute to happily reflect on the expression on Itachi's face as his parents had told him that he was grounded for a month. "You were saying?"

"Do you remember anything else about it?"

"Err... Well I remember you saying about something pushing you out of the water?"

"My brother said there was a kappa in the pond."

"A kappa? You mean those mythical things that eat children?"

"And rape women, yes."

"...I can see why your brother liked the idea of them."

"Anyway, I thought I saw some weird blob thing in the water and a hand trying to grab me when I fell in. And I remember some kind of purple eyes before I passed out."

"Ok that is creepy as fuck man. Wait... did you see that thing again last night?!"

"I saw what looked like a person coming out of the water. Might've been a dream but-."

"But you think it was the kappa thing! What are you gonna do?"

"I'm not sure... It's not like I can ask anyone about it."

"We could trap it?"

"With what?"

"Err... A net?"

"...It looked like it was made of water. How the hell do you catch a _liquid _in a _net?" _

"Yeah you do make a good point." Both of them considered things for a minute. "We could drain the pond?"

"Pretty sure dad would kill us. Especially if it was for something stupid like looking for a kappa."

"What's his obsession with those damned koi?!"

"Considering your own obsession with ramen, you cannot talk."

"I don't know what you're talking about; ramen is easily the most amazing food in existence."

"If you have no taste buds maybe."

"You son of a-." He broke off quickly when Sasuke kicked him in the shin so that Mikoto didn't hear as she walked in.

"Having a nice breakfast boys?"

"Great thanks mum."

"You're awesome Sasu-mum."

"Thanks Naru! I'm so glad my future son-in-law is so adorable." Sasuke banged his head against the table at the embarrassment of his mother.

"Nihihi~." When she left the room Naruto started elbowing him. "See Sasuke, your mum thinks I'm cute."

"She also likes those really ugly hairless dogs."

"Fuck you!"

"Anyway, what are we going to do about the weird thing in the pond?"

"Hmm... Oh my god I know! We could have a stake out!"

"...A what now?"

"We could stay out there all night and keep watch."

"Why stay out there? We could just stay in my room and watch from there."

"That's not scary enough!"

"So how do we explain this to the family?"

"Just say we're camping."

"I hate camping. I never go camping."

"I know! We could invite some of the other guys around."

"What? We're not having a party over this!"

"It won't be a party! We'll only have a _few _people!"

"Name them."

"Kiba and Shino obviously. We could get Neji and Lee I suppose? How about Shikamaru and Choji?"

"It sounds like a Kiba idea to me so that makes sense. Not too many of them though, it's definitely not a party."

-Page Break-

"Hey guys, I bought lotsa beer!" Kiba announced this to the whole street as he came into the front door flanked by Neji who was looking less than impressed. As Sasuke had told his parents they would only be camping and not making any noise to disturb the neighbours, he had to shush him quickly. "What?"

"If my neighbours notice us making noise or drinking, particularly that old Miller bitch next door, my parents will be told I'm being 'out of control' and I will be grounded for pissing off the neighbours."

"Wow. All of your neighbours sound like dicks."

"They are. Anybody else coming?"

"Everybody else is either out of the country or just couldn't make it." From the look on his face Neji had the same opinion as Sasuke; _it's only us to deal with these idiots. _

"I think we'll have to get out my mum's valium if they get too much."

"Agreed."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing dog breath."

"Screw you Uchiha."

After the compulsory banter session had finished, everyone moved through to the garden where Naruto had (very poorly) put up a tent and was attempting to start a fire.

"What are you doing idiot?"

"What do you mean? How else are we going to cook our food?"

"...He does realise your kitchen is right there?"

"Damn, you really need a smarter boyfriend Sas-Gay."

"Shut up Kiba!" Sasuke watched with Neji as both idiots started throwing sticks at each other.

"Do you think we should stop them?" Neji looked concerned.

"...Leave them a minute."

-Page Break-

"My ass is going numb." Kiba was the first to break the silence.

"Shh!"

"What? Seriously, this is the most boring camping trip ever. All we're doing is sitting here."

"We're just trying to spot the ghost thing in Sasuke's pond."

"Ghost?" Neji looked confused. "I thought it was a kappa?"

"Yeah, one of those. We're trying to work out if Sasuke's crazy or not."

"You need to work that out?" Sasuke didn't even bother scowling.

Although there had been some complaining when he'd insisted on next to no lights he didn't care. That had been the second time since childhood he'd seen something weird out here and he wanted to see this again. Naruto and Kiba continued to bicker in the background whilst Neji called them useless. He just ignored all of them.

Despite all the noise they were making, the rest of the garden was strangely quiet. The moon was still quite big and most of the garden was lit up by it. If he was honest he felt uneasy. Something felt wrong, like they weren't meant to be out here right now. Of course no one else noticed.

"Sure you don't want a beer Sas-Gay?"

"Yes! Now screw off!"

"Talk to your girlfriend please Naru, I think he's having his period."

"Do you want me to take these two back inside?" At least Neji was considerate.

"We aren't children!"

"Yeah tell him Sasuke!" He looked at both of them, covered in mud from their earlier wrestling match and stinking of beer. All in all, he wasn't in the mood for these two.

"You can babysit for the night Neji, I'm gonna stay out here for a minute."

"If you're sure." He'd thought that Naruto would be more insistent on staying with his boyfriend but both him and Kiba both dashed off at full speed in search of the fridge. Neji gave an apologetic grin and followed them inside, leaving him scowling alone on the grass.

_I said I wanted to be alone, but that didn't mean my idiot boyfriend had to leave with everyone else._

He considered joining them but his head was pounding and he needed some fresh air. The sound of the running water from the pond was relaxing and the night air was warm and comforting. Despite the sound of the others nearby, he felt detached. It was only when he heard the splashing noise towards the pond that he came back to earth with a jolt.

It sounded like a large animal wading through the water and onto the grass and he stared in that direction with his heart pounding. Although he could see vague outlines, he couldn't see anything in particular. Just as he went to go back inside a flash of white caught his eye. He froze.

As soon as he went to look at it directly the thing it had disappeared. Sasuke glanced towards all corners of the garden but nothing was to be seen. It seemed he was going crazy.

"It's nice to be alone together, eh Sasuke?" A cheerful, almost mocking voice whispered in his ear and he froze. _I'm hearing things... There's nothing there. _"You look good. Good enough to eat."

When he felt teeth nipping his ear was when he finally lost it. He cried out and spun round with arms flailing. Instead of a person, Sasuke's arm ended up hitting a large mass of water floating in mid air. The spinning caused him to fall flat on his ass and the water fell on him, meaning he was now soaking wet. Of the disembodied voice there was nothing to be seen. The others had heard the shouting and all rushed out.

"What the hell happened to you?"

"...I'm going inside. Clear up the stuff."

"Eh?! Don't leave us to do all that crap you-. Ow! Don't hit me you asshole!" Kiba scowled at Neji who looked unbothered to say the least.

"We'll sort everything out here so don't worry about it."

"Speak for yourself you stupid-. Ow! Godammit!" Leaving Neji to deal with Kiba, Sasuke stumbled into the house with Naruto following behind. He was pretty sure he was in shock and desperately needed something strong. Whiskey perhaps?

"Hey Sasuke!" Naruto was right next to him and shouting.

"What?"

"I've asked if you're ok at least 5 times now!"

"Oh... Oops." _A ha. Dad's 'secret' supply. Perfect._

"Just tell me what happened! Clearly it was something... Are you swigging from that whiskey bottle?"

"Well done Captain Obvious."

"Why?"

"It's good for shock I heard. And it seems to be true, this stuff is good."

"Shock? What did you see? You saw the kappa?"

"Kind of..."

"...So you saw what may have been a ghost thing in your pond? And how did you get all wet anyway?"

"I tried to hit the thing behind me that started trying to eat my ear and suddenly there was water."

"Eating your ear? I don't really get it. Just try and explain Sasuke!"

"...I'm going to bed. Can you sort things out?"

"Ok... But you better tell me what's going on tomorrow."

"Yeah, yeah." _Hopefully I'm not just losing it. _


	3. Chapter 3

**The Kappa**

_**Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine.**_

It was after everyone had left the next day that Sasuke was finally able to relax. Kiba and Neji hadn't asked what was wrong and had given him space like most normal people would. Naruto on the other hand had nagged incessantly until he finally told him the whole story. Despite trying to go along with it, it was obvious that the boy thought he was going nuts.

Sasuke himself was worried. You didn't just hear voices and start hallucinating unless something was seriously wrong. The only reason he was even considering this could be real was because of that memory.

Last night he'd panicked and as a result found out nothing. This time he was going to be clever. Either he was crazy or there really was some weird creature in their garden. If it was a kappa as his brother said, then at least he could try and find out something about it.

As expected the internet was full of random information, most of which was nothing like what he'd seen. A lot of images showed large newt-like things who feasted on children and lost all power if they lost water from a disc on their head. The thing he'd seen had looked too human to be like that but nevertheless, he was going to take some advice from it.

No one else was there this time. His brother was out with Kisame and his parents wouldn't bother him much. When it started to get dark he stole all the cucumbers from the cupboard and laid them down on the ground in front of the pond. It seemed a well known fact that Kappa's loved cucumbers.

After setting the trap Sasuke sat on the grass half hidden behind a bush and watched the water from a safe distance. It was unlikely that this creature would be very friendly and he wasn't in the mood for being eaten or savaged. He even had a few extra cucumbers in a bag next to him just in case it did appear and he needed extra time to escape.

Sasuke was expecting to have to sit there for hours until he eventually got too tired or bored and gave up, but it seemed that the creature in the pond had other plans. He had been distracted for a few seconds when there was a loud splashing noise. The water's surface was rippled and one of the cucumbers had disappeared.

His heart started pounding hard in his chest. This was as clear a sign as any that he wasn't going crazy. There had definitely been three of them before. Not long afterwards the water surged up over the side and what seemed like a hand reached out and gripped another cucumber, dragging it under the water.

_...Ok this is getting a little too freaky, I'm gonna leave now. _Once it ran out of cucumbers it might move onto him and he didn't want to risk it. As he stood up to leave he heard a loud crunching noise directly behind him. He spun around but as before nothing was there.

He heard a voice chuckling at him and gulped. Whatever this thing was, it clearly enjoyed screwing with his head and the thought made him as angry as he was scared. He was about to go to the pond when he realised there were no more cucumbers.

_Maybe it's gone? _There was another loud crunch directly behind him and he froze. _There's going to be nothing there. It's all in my head. _

Of course he expected there to be nothing like every other time. He didn't expect to see a white haired naked boy sitting cross legged on the grass, staring at him and eating a cucumber. He really didn't know what to say about this. The other boy had no problem.

"Yo." He grinned at Sasuke, revealing a row of sharp pointed teeth.

"...Ok, I'm going to leave now. This is clearly some kind of hallucination." _That or I fell over and hit my head and now I'm lying unconscious on the floor. _

"I thought you wanted to see me?" His voice was the same voice from the night before. Sasuke then noticed the eyes, large and purple, just like the ones he remembered.

"...So it _was _you."

"Was me what?"

"You pushed me out of the pond."

"Huh? Oh that. Yeah, I was planning on eating you but your brother started shouting from the window and I really didn't wanna have my place drained out because I ate some skinny tasteless kid."

"Drained out?"

"Well that is generally what happens when a kid drowns in any small pool. They drain the place off and then I end up homeless. You didn't look that good back then anyway."

"Well thanks."

"Now on the other hand..." The boy had a glint in his eye that Sasuke knew he didn't like. "Which of your limbs do you like the least?"

"Why...?" The boy advanced until he was only inches away.

"I'm still a little hungry, I could've done with more cucumbers. So arm or leg? Which one do you need more?"

"I need all of my limbs!"

"A guy's gotta eat." He went to grab an arm but Sasuke pulled back.

"What the hell are you?" He should've asked this question from the start but it hadn't occurred to him.

"I don't know what you mean."

"Don't play games with me, I know you can't be that stupid."

"You already know what I am, I heard you all talking."

"So you're a... kappa?" The boy grinned even wider, looking even creepier. But then he reached out to grab his arm again and Sasuke went to punch him in the face. As soon as his fist hit him, the boy's body suddenly turned into water and collapsed onto the floor.

_...Ok, there is no sane way to explain this. _Sasuke decided now was the time to get the hell out of here before his head imploded. He pulled the remaining cucumbers out of his bag and threw them into the newly formed kappa puddle and half ran back to the house.

It was only when he got back to his house that he realised what he had just seen and all the strength left his legs and he practically collapsed on the floor.

_There's a kappa in my garden... A flesh eating mythical creature... A naked flesh eating mythical creature... Why the hell was he naked? Stupid kappa. _Sasuke scowled at this thought before crawling over to the window and pulling the curtains shut. At least it wouldn't be able to see him.

-Page Break-

"Hi Sas-Gay! How are you this fine- Woah! What happened to you? You look terrible!" Sasuke gave Naruto the most hateful look he could muster, which was probably more effective than usual due to the massive bags under his eyes.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"But you look ill! What happened?"

"I didn't get much sleep last night ok?" Sitting up all night and staring at the window whilst clutching a baseball bat was probably not the best idea but he hadn't really been thinking straight. And now he was sleep deprived and facing a long day of socialising.

"So... anything else on the kappa thing?"

"No." It was probably a hallucination anyway.

"Are we gonna have another late night stake-out?"

"...You know what; I think I'll just leave it."

"Eh? I thought you really wanted to find out though?"

"It doesn't matter that much. We're a little old to be chasing mythical creatures anyway."

"It was pretty fun but I see your point. So was that stuff you said the other night about the thing behind you a joke?"

"Yeah... I just fell over on some water."

"I thought you were actually going nuts so thank god for that." Naruto started laughing and despite the chill he could feel going down his back Sasuke managed one of his trademark smirks.

"If you actually believed me you must be even stupider than I originally thought."

"Hey! Screw you Sas-Gay!"

"You're the one who gets screwed in this relationship." The blonde blushed.

"Don't say that kind of thing in public!"

"I'm pretty sure everyone knows about us. And no one could be stupid enough to believe you could top me."

"Arrogant Uchiha bastard."

"Love you too idiot. Now move or we'll be late."

"I'm guessing we're gonna make a stop at that cupboard again?"

"Of course."

-Page Break-

By the time Sasuke got home that night he felt refreshed and generally good about life despite being absolutely exhausted. Fondling your adorable boyfriend for a good hour tended to do that to you. Even looking out the window to the back garden failed to bring about his usual uneasiness.

"Sasuke?" He almost hadn't noticed his mother digging around in the vegetables behind him.

"Need something?"

"Do you know what happened to the cucumbers? I had a whole bag of them in here yesterday."

"No idea... Perhaps Itachi knows?" If in doubt, blame your sibling.

"He said he didn't know either. He's had most of the tomatoes though so I wouldn't be surprised. You boys are such gluttons."

"Hmm..." _Definitely not going to mention I had most of those tomatoes. _He couldn't really help himself, it was an addiction. Sasuke decided to retreat from his inquisitive mother to the safety of his room so he wouldn't be faced with more awkward questions.

Tonight he simply pushed the kappa issue to the back of his mind and distracted himself with rearranging everything in his room. Even when it was starting to get dark and he could spy the gloomily lit garden out of the corner of his eye, he still kept all thoughts of creepy white haired boys out of his mind.

This only lasted up until just as he was going to bed. He'd switched the light off and laid down when he heard a chuckle. Sasuke sat up fast. Although he couldn't see anything, there was still an odd feeling that he was being watched. There was a scuffling noise over by the window before silence once more resumed.

Sasuke hesitated a minute before making his way to the other side of the room and yanking the curtains open. Resting just outside the window was a single half-eaten cucumber. He could feel his eyebrow twitching and rather than being scared, he wanted to punch the irritating little prick.

_If he thinks he can screw with me, he has another think coming. _Before he was able to rethink things, Sasuke pulled the window open, grabbed the cucumber and threw it across the garden.

"_Stop bothering me you stupid ass!" _He couldn't exactly shout but the kappa could probably still hear. He slammed the window down and returned to bed. Of course he didn't sleep at all that night.


	4. Chapter 4

**The Kappa**

_**Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine.**_

It was fucking with him. That creepy, evil, scary looking thing in the garden was purposely fucking with his mind. And from the way it had acted, it was most definitely enjoying this too. Unless he was doing it to himself which just made things even more screwed up.

Finding that same half-eaten cucumber from last night lying on his windowsill again this morning had just added to his increasing rage. After throwing back into the pond he'd hoped that would be the end of it. The bitch next door had of course told his mother he was throwing vegetables out the window leading to him having an earful that morning whilst Itachi had watched and sniggered.

The one positive side to that was that he'd definitely seen the cucumber go into the water and so had their neighbour. He hadn't been into the garden either so there was no way he could've gotten it back again. All that kind of lead to increasing evidence that there was a kappa when he found that same damn cucumber in his school bag.

_That nasty little shit. Fuck the koi; I'm chucking bleach out there. And maybe some rat poison just to make sure. _Sasuke didn't know if it was possible to kill a kappa but if he could at least make it suffer as payback for what it'd done that would be good enough. It wasn't like he was as forgiving as Naruto. Speaking of whom...

"What is wrong with you today? Did you not sleep again last night?"

"No."

"Dammit Sasuke! Is it that kappa thing again? You know it's not real, right?"

"Of course I know! I'm not a complete idiot!"No way was he talking about this to anyone ever again.

"It seems like you're still taking it pretty seriously. And what's with the cucumber?" _Oh shit. _It was pretty common knowledge that cucumbers were associated with kappas.

"Itachi put it there because he was being a smartass." Brothers were occasionally useful. "And I didn't sleep last night because I was on the DS and I got stuck on a level, ok?" An excuse like that was more than enough for Naruto.

"Why didn't you just say so? Don't scare me like that!"

"You sound like my mother."

"Fuck you! As you just insulted me, I'm going to have to copy your maths homework to make up for it."

"...Devious little shit."

"You're a smart guy, help me out here!"

"I'd be more satisfied watching you getting your ass handed to you by Iruka."

"Come on! If I get detention after school again, you realise that means we get less time together?"

"Wow, a fringe benefit."

"Argh! Why are you such a sadist?"

"It's been in the Uchiha family for generations."

"Don't give me that crap!" Sasuke loved Naruto's stroppy moods and when the blonde started sulking and walking ahead, it presented a great view of the blonde's ass. Yes, life was good.

-Page Break-

The first thing on the young Uchiha's mind when he got home was revenge. Itachi, Naruto, Kiba and even Gaara. It didn't matter who they were, if they pissed him off he would eventually get them back for it. Just because this... thing wasn't human doesn't mean he would treat it any differently.

Sasuke still wasn't sure whether to refer to the kappa as a he or it but as a kappa wasn't human he decided to stick to it. He didn't want to think of that thing as human. A rather interesting thing he'd found whilst reading was that a kappa's arm was detachable. He didn't know how true this would be or if it would even work seeing as the thing seemed to be made of water but as it had tried to eat his arm it seemed a good and proper punishment.

Stealing the arm of a kappa meant it would have to obey you until you returned it so the idea of enslaving it was satisfying to say the least. If it worked anyway.

Cucumbers were once again his bait of choice but instead of sitting away he came closer and held onto the food stuffs. At least it would let him get close enough to try to pull the arm off.

Admittedly it took him a while to notice that the kappa was half out of the water and leaning on the side of the pool, watching him.

"Are you hand feeding me now? Cute, but last time I checked I wasn't a duck. And if it doesn't involve your actual hand it won't be as satisfying."

"Shut up!"

"Aww I know you cared." The smile showing all those pointed teeth made Sasuke's throat go dry. This was a predator and it would kill him if it got the chance.

"Well if you're so hungry all the time why don't you come and get your cucumbers so I can go back inside. I'm freezing my ass off out here!"

"Damn am I lucky to have the great and mighty Uchiha doing something for little old me. Must be my birthday."

"If you don't come and get it then I'll go back inside and take them with me."

"You're so cruel. Why don't you come closer?"

"No way in hell." There was no way he would trust that thing near its pond. It would be suicide.

"If you insist." He hadn't noticed before but whenever the creature said the letter 'S', it made a slight hissing noise, just adding to the creepy feel. And watching a human body, forming itself organs and all out of water was something not many people could say they'd seen.

"Thanks for the eats." As the kappa leant forward and bit into the cucumber, Sasuke grabbed the creatures' arm and pulled it.

He wasn't expecting it to actually work. But then, a lot of unexpected things were happening lately. Holding a disembodied arm was just the icing on the cake of weird really. There was a stunned silence and it took a while for both of them to finally figure out what had just happened.

"...So Sasuke...Would you be a dear and give me back my arm?" The thing gave a sheepish grin and Sasuke scowled and backed off.

"How about no?"

"Come on, I kind of need that."

"You have another one."

"It's not the same without lefty though."

"If I have your arm, you have to do whatever I want, right?"

"..."

"Well?"

"I guess I do... Damn you're a smart little brat."

"You don't look that much older than me."

"Take it from me when I say that I am _much _older than you. I was around before your grandparents were born. Now gimme the arm!" Although he went to grab it, Sasuke dodged and backed away. Despite crashing to the ground, he didn't turn to water like usual.

"...Do you need your arm to use your powers or something?"

"..."

"I see." Finally Sasuke had an advantage and he was going to use this as much as he could. "I'd be willing to let you have this back... if you move somewhere else."

"I can't move! Where the hell else am I supposed to go? Come on, I've been here for years! It's not my fault your asshole parents had my lake filled in so I had to move into the only bit of water left in this stupid place!"

"Oh..." And now he felt guilty. It's not like it was his fault though. "But if you stay here, you'll probably end up eating me or someone else in my family!"

"I won't! I'll leave them all alone! I swear!"

"How can I trust you though?"

"Maybe I rape and kill people, but one thing I'd never do is break a promise."

"Well that sounds perfectly reasonable. I know I can definitely trust you now." His voice was dripping with sarcasm and the kappa gulped.

"Obviously you don't know everything smart ass. If you did, you'd know that my kind can't break a promise."

"Really?" _I'm gonna have to Google this later. _

"Yes! Now I promise I will never harm a single member of your family-."

"Or any friends."

"-Or any of your friends."

"And that you won't act like a creeper and put things on my windowsill."

"It was a gift! I was being neighbourly." Sasuke gave him a disbelieving look. "Ok, it was pretty funny to see you shit yourself like that... Ok, I won't do that either, happy now?"

"...One more thing."

"Godammit, what?"

"If I ask you to do something for me, you have to do it."

"I'm not becoming your slave!"

"Well I guess I'll just be keeping this." He turned and began walking back to the house, whistling as he went.

"Ok! I'll do whatever you say! Now please give me my arm back!"

"Hmm..." _I really should double check the promise thing first. _

"Come on! How am I supposed to hide myself like this?" He did look quite pathetic.

"Ok fine. If you have your arm back, I have a request though."

"Is this another stupid promise?"

"No, this is just something personal."

"Ok?"

"Wear some damn clothes!" Sasuke threw the arm at the thing's face and ran full speed for the house. He wasn't going to take any chances that it had been lying after all.


End file.
